The (K)Night is Darkest Just Before the Dawn

Yesterday was an awesome day. The Dark Knight premiered, and we had tickets for the IMAX at high noon! I was really excited to see it, and it was even more fun to go with Gillian, the Ultimate Fangirl. Plus, since I've been reading the now-classic Batman graphic novels, I feel so educated about the story and the characters, which sounds nerdy, but makes it even better!

And we were (sort-of accidentally) First In Line, which meant that we had the best seats in the IMAX hiz-ouse! Do I even have to say that the movie was incredible? No, I didn't think so.

Then, Bite of Seattle & the Fresh Impressionists exhibit at SAM. It was okay... I'm just so spoiled, having been to France many a time and seeking out & seeing tons of impressionist works. The point of the exhibit was to show how some of the Great Masters of Impressionism were influenced by previous artists... which I feel is a bit of a "duh." It was cool to go to SAM though, because I hadn't been since I was young, and the only thing I remembered was a sculpture of a toilet, complete with excrement (yes, that's how little I was- the poo made the biggest impression on me).

I dropped Gillian off and went to my parent's house and had a great dinner. They just got back from MT and brought a box full of old photos to go through, courtesy of Big Teeny. I found proof of my inner superhero, even as a youngster; I'll leave you with that.

I Left a Spot in my Harte for You

Yesterday I was looking for one of my favorite quotes of all time: this short, beautiful bit of wisdom spoken by Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry. Instead of going straight to the "interweb," as Tracy Jordan says, I reached for my tattered second-generation copy, which originally belonged to my mother.

As I was skimming through the book, I found the funniest little thing tucked between pages 76 and 77. A valentine, meant for my mother, from god-knows-when:

Now, I know that this was meant for my mother and not by my mother, because she would NEVER spell "heart" incorrectly. In fact, we have this gene in our family that's been passed down to both my sister and I that we refer to as "the human dictionary gene." We are all naturally great spellers, and my mom is the best. So some poor boy crafted this little gem with red and purple crayons and gave it to my mom, not knowing that he misspelled harte. I mean heart. Tee hee.

Oh, if only it were that easy... what if we adults could just make little paper hearts that say "Be Mine" and pass them to our crushes...

p.s. The quote, if you'd like to know: "Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux." (Translation: "Here is my secret. It's very easy: it is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eyes.")

I've NEVER Felt Like This Before

Okay, so I know that I just put this guy's stuff up recently, but I just love him. I think this is one of his very best (except the part about the porcupine thing...). More to come, hilarishizzlers.

Oops, it's Donnie Hoyle, not Donnie Boyle

You Suck at Photoshop #11 is available! I'm gonna have to check out Horrible People next...

Vive la France!

It's July first, and I'm in a great mood. For many reasons, really: it's summer, the weather is pleasant, I can ride my bike any time I want, I just finished and then started a new book, I'm listening to Marge music, and I'm feeling happy and optimistic, seeing the potential in the world. I don't really have much more to say than that.

I think the only way I would feel even better is if I was... in Paris. Truly. Looking at Paris Daily Photo today, I just had this longing to be among "my people." The many misconceptions Americans have about Parisians, and the French in general, really annoy me. And hey, I'll be the first to imitate the French (speaking in my killer French-person-speaking-English accent, pretending to puff away on my cigarette as I discuss the meaning of life at Les Deux Magots), but that's different from griping about their "rudeness" and "inhospitableness" (is that a word? well, I don't care, because you know what I mean). That is a bunch of garbage. I just adore French culture, and I'm missing the country and losing my French daily.... Do you have a place that you feel is your "home away from home" or your "cultural mecca" or "where you belong"? Just curious.


Time for a video clip: Le Jour des Canards

Quelle belle ville! Merci, wikipedia.

Lazy Saturday

Well, I guess I figured that You Suck At Photoshop was so good that it would just stand on its own for three weeks... I don't know. Guess I just haven't felt the urge to spend time online lately. It's been a time of transitions, really. . . . . and now I'm being all speculative and boring. I'll stop now.

School's out! Woohoo!

And boy, have I been celebrating. Phew, more on that note later. Perhaps in the meantime, you'd like to check the latest in criminal fashion? Oh, you would? I thought you might: rapist glasses and pedophile beards are what all the sex offenders are wearing these days.

Hmmm... It Must Be Spring <3

No matter how much I see those heart emoticon-thingies, I can never see a heart. Even if I turn my head... if I do that, it's almost worse... like a pointy thing and butt cheeks.

Anyway, time to rev up hilarishizzle! Thanks to Gillian for this one: You Suck At Photoshop. I can't even properly express how funny this is. Donnie is not just a photoshop genius, he is a comedic genius. Just start with number one, and I DARE you to not click "next" when it's over. I think my favorite is #3. I could insert an irreverant/hilarious quote here, but I'm just going to let you experience the magic. I'm definitely not done exploring mydamnchannel.com.

So, tomorrow I don't have to go to work! Yay! Well, I don't have to go to school. I'm going on the 8th grade field trip to the Finance Park (I think the point is to teach kids about bank accounts and credit cards and all that stuff). Even though I whine about my job frequently (hey, it's middle school... who wouldn't?), I do love it. But I am SO ready for this year to be OVER. The kids are distracted, ornery, they've checked out already... and so have we teachers! Okay, time to write an e-mail and read/go to bed. Enjoy Donnie Boyle!

BOOB!

The weather was so freakin' nice on Friday and Saturday... ahhh... it was like summer. Summer in the northwest is the reason I live here. I hate work. Work sucks. I don't want to do ANYTHING. I'm as bad as my students. But with only 18 days left, can you really blame us? No, I thought not. So, back to the weather. It was so nice and summery that I made an i-tunes playlist called "summer groove" and I must say, I think it's the best playlist I've ever made. I'm listening to it right now. Ask me for a copy, I say.

BOOB refers to my neighbors, some delightful, party-hardy UPS students who decided to celebrate graduation this past weekend with alcohol a-plenty (there were beer cans and bottles everywhere!!), and when I woke up on Sunday and walked my dog, I saw the gi-normous, bright orange, made-from-fiberboard letters on the adjacent lawn. And I will say, they are really quite well made! An art-major's final project? I just don't know, but I really don't need to know. I was going to take a picture of BOOB, yet realized that my camera was at school, so here is a quickie 2 minute sketch (I didn't want to linger in front of BOOB for too long):

In totally not-related schtuff, check out annuale, a Tina Fey gem. Can you tell I'm a little obsessed? I only have one 30 Rock left!! What on earth am I going to do with my time?

I Heart 30 Rock

Wow, it's been, like, 2 weeks since I've blogged. Must get back in the game! What have I been doing, you may wonder, with my free time? I'll share my most recent hilarishizzle find with you: 30 Rock. I've always been a fan of Tina Fey, but never watched this show... until now, and I can't stop! I just finished watching season 1 on Netflix, and lucky me! Season 2 is on hulu with practically no commercials! Every character is so funny. Seriously. I haven't laughed out loud so much since Arrested Development (and btw, if you are a fan of G.O.B., he totally guest stars on this show).

Ms. Fey is not only hilarious and talented, but the character she plays has some eerie similarities to myself... In one episode, she goes to this fancy party with her boss (Alec Baldwin) and, uncomfortable in the situation, says something like, "Man, I would rather be sitting at home watching Friends reruns and eating a block of cheddar cheese." And I was literally sitting in front of the computer with a block of Tillamook medium cheddar in one hand and a cheese slicer in the other!

Anyway, 30 Rock is one of the good things in my life right now that I am trying to focus on (and not annoying students, car theft assholes, hayfever...). And there's my friends, and family, and the Triple P.

I think I'll end on that happy note. More to come later, fo' realz.

Ok, I get the gist.

I don't know how it got to be this way, but we have virtually NO sex ed in middle schools these days. And let me tell you, I don't know what a "Cleveland Steamer" is, but if it does really exist, our middle schoolers are doin' it. Believe me. Ugh.

The nasty stuff they talk about when they think you can't hear them is outrageous! I could give you a couple examples right now, but I don't want to disgust you. Or think about it myself. Perhaps we should be showing this kind of PSA to all of the naive, clueless, "not-MY-kid" parents out there. Hmmm.

P.S. Is that how you spell Cleveland? It looks right, but I'm not sure, and I could look it up, but I'm on my way to read my crazy-weird book (Geek Love) in bed. So, I'm lazy. I'm pretty confident that I'm an above-average speller (thanks, MoShizzle for passing that one on), but you never know... I did spell "ridiculous" incorrectly yesterday.

I Have More Cakes Than Even You.

Whoa. Been a while. Nice to see you, blog. Thanks for hangin' in there.

Felt like crap this morning, called in at the last minute and spent the day in my robe in various sleeping positions in various locales around the house. Not ready or willing to go back to work tomorrow, but dammit, productive citizen that I am, I just can't resist getting up ridiculously early and driving to work, latte (elixer of life) clutched in hand, frantically, mentally preparing myself for the day ahead. Besides, what better job in life is there than filling the minds of our youth? (Cough cough, tear of sarcasm). Btw, title refers to this. How silly and irreverant... but made me chuckle. Alright, time to see if there's a new Red Radish.

Lazy Sunday (Mr.Pibb & Red Vines = Crazy Delicious!)

"Lazy Sunday" happens to describe my state of being and a hilarious video from Andy Samberg (available for viewing here). I've been hooked on my computer for quite a while this morning, addicted to watching hilarishizzle videos. Oh, readers, do I have some shizzle to share with you! It's so exciting to be excited to blog. No more WASL blogs. Okay, I say that now, but will probably change my mind this coming work week, as our f.g.r. test resumes this Tuesday.

First up, in honor of today (4/20... college dorms all over the world are hazy with pot smoke as I type) I bring you, courtesy of funnyordie.com, PSI: Pot Scene Investigation: The Case of the Missing $40





Enjoy, stoners and non-stoners alike!




(Photo thanks to funnyordie.com)

WASL = We Are So Lame? Lazy? Loquacious? Lofty?

I'm trying to come up with my own, improved meaning for that acronym, but not having much luck. I've also realized that I can't think of many adjectives that start with an "l" on the spot. Well, just about everything having to do with the WASL sucks, but I have to say this week has largely gone by well, despite the laborious role of being test coordinator. My work is laudable! We've had no major lapses, no lugubrious issues (knock on lumpy wood). The only issues we've had have to do with ludicrous, licentious teachers letting their lunkhead students converse too loudly after the test, and various lame-ass students arriving late.

It's likely I will liberate the lepidoptera from the locker in my lederhosen! It is late; I lucubrate.

Okay, okay, enough. Amy Louise, over and out.

Demain, C'est Vendredi!

Wow. I thought this week would be horrible ("torturous," I said in one e-mail) but it's already Thursday and I feel great, as opposed to my feeling terrible and overwhelmed on Monday. Being "Testing Coordinator" in a school in WA state is a crap-tastic job, and the infamous WASL is right around the corner, and there is soooooooo much to check off/get ready/organize/double check/ that I was absolutely dreading this week... having to do all that AND teach (with 4 preps!) is a little insane. And yet, thanks to my glorious friends/helpers, it has really been okay. Of course, there's still lots of work to do, but all is well! Hooray! My friends are the best (smile, tear of joy :o).

In other news, I updated my profile a little bit ago, and finally changed that FotC picture... I've replaced it with, as you can see, a still from the funniest show EVER. Really. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard (and even upon second or third viewings!) as when I've watched Arrested Development. I've been thinking of it recently because I've converted quite a few peeps (a.k.a. made others aware of, and subsequently hooked on, the fanf***ingtasticly brilliant comedy that is A. D.) lately, and now YOU, the VIEWER of this asinine blog, will be converted, too! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha! Best part? You can watch every episode on hulu absa-toot-alootly free. Damn, you're lucky.

Into the Kitchen I Goes... B****, I Need My Cheerios!

I am depressed. Many things desperately need my attention: my empty fridge, my piles of grading, my laundry, my messy house, my un-showered self... and I just don't want to do any of it. Instead, I will feel sorry for myself that my vacation is over, waste time, and, of course, blog. I think I'll update my profile, change the FotC picture, just about anything to avoid real work. Omned, I couldn't believe it- Julie Andrews' mother really was quite the hussy! Julie's "dad" wasn't her real dad, and her mom finally told her about her real dad when she was 14!

Now, in a totally unrelated topic, I found a gem on youtube. A short while ago, I was introduced to R. Kelly's "hip-hopera" entitled Trapped in the Closet. I think I'm one of the last people to hear about it, actually. It's just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen, and I found it hilarious. If you haven't seen it, you should youtube it. And watch just a little- it goes on forever and ever. You have to have seen a little of the original to appreciate MadTV's spoof, Trapped in the Cupboard: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7putw2A4FiI

I think I love cheerios just as much as Fake R. Kelly does.

Ah, Wouldn't It Be Loverly?

Yay for Borders and Educator's Week! Not that I need an excuse to spend too much money at Borders, but... 25% off is nice. I just bought Julie Andrews' new autobiography Home and added it to my pile of books to read (got one done, though: Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri: amazing short stories; very thought-provoking and naturally leads to reflection).

Anyhoo, I loooove Julie Andrews! I used to idolize her when I was young and I watched The Sound of Music so many times that I could recite all the dialogue from start to finish (Maria: I am not finished yet, Captain! Captain Von Trapp: Yes you are, Captain! Erm, Maria. Now, you will pack your things and return to the abbey... Baroness: ...and somewhere out there is a young lady, who I think, will never be a nun... Auf weidersehn, dahling). SoM I've seen a ton, and also Victor/Victoria, in which she plays a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman. Love it- so hilarious. And I know I've listened to My Fair Lady: Original London Cast Recording a jillion times. So far (at about page 50 or so), I've learned that her mom was somewhat of a hussy and that Julie had a perfectly developed voice at the age of 9 1/2. Bee-yotch! (I mean that in a loving, jealous sort-of way)

Oh, wouldn't it be loverly if I could go home to T-town and bring this southwestern weather with me?

Jambi Francisco, Sleeping Aid

My southwestern sojourn is coming to an end. *Sigh.*
I do not want to go back to work. However, I am looking forward to going home to my comfy bed, my computer, my pets, my friends...

I haven't been sleeping well. This is really no surprise, because I never sleep well, but I didn't bring my teddy. Yes, I still have my teddy, and yes, I usually sleep with it. It's old and ratty (my freshman roommate nicknamed it "Nightmare Bear" because of it's shoddy and somewhat frightening appearance) but I still like it. I was at Anthropologie (that amazing, ridiculously expensive store) and bought this beautiful dress (with no place/event to wear it, specifically, but it fit so well and it's the first of the month and I just had to buy it) and a stuffed blue rhinoceros which we named Jambi Francisco (that's fran-SEE-sko) after much brainstorming. Jambi, because of that creepy blue genie from PeeWee's playhouse, and Francisco, because, well, why not? And guess what? I've been sleeping better.

Heh-woh, Evewee-one

I love love love sleeping in. Today, shopping and eating- the two best things to do in Scottsdale. Every time I come down here I am always re-fascinated with the cars. There are no old cars. None. No dirty cars. No cheap cars. They are all brand new and super shiny and beautiful. Today we saw a Bentley, yesterday a Rolls Royce. I can't think of anywhere else I've been where you can just see these things driving next to you or parked five spaces down.

Thank NED for John & Donna and their laptop! I miss my computer and would be going really stir-crazy if I couldn't e-mail and HilariShizzle. Last night Foo and I watched clips on hulu for a while and I found another gem from my *youth*. When I was young, maybe 10-12 or thereabouts, I would always get the same VHS from the public library: The Best of Gilda Radner on SNL. She was my pre-teen hero when everyone else was obsessing about boy bands and shit. I don't know how many times I watched that, and my favorite was when she was "BabaWawa" and had Marlene Deitrich on her show, "Not For Ladies Only." I could almost recite the whole thing. Here it is if you wish to be enlightenend: http://www.hulu.com/watch/4252/saturday-night-live-not-for-ladies-only
Yes, I was an unusual child, and my dream was to become a Film Historian and take over for Nick Clooney on AMC. Maybe in another life. Now, for a swim!

Hilarishizzle Broadcasts From Scottsdale!

Greetings from the 80 degree, incredibly aesthetically pleasing, AARP-ville that is Scottsdale, Arizona. It is sunny. I am wearing shorts and sandals. Sunscreen must be applied. OMG. Getting out of T-town is doing wonders for the soul. Rejuvination! Sleep! Delicious food! Seeing Big Teeny! (my g-ma... if you really want to know why she's called Big T, ask me later) OMG again. More to come later, as have a little computer access.

OMNED. (Ask Bailey What That Means)

Sheesh. It's Friday, my Spring Break has started, and I am officially ecstatic... but too tired to fully show it. I went out with the peeps and has a margarita (or two) to celebrate Julie's last day and hang out, and now I'm home, and it's 6:58, and I think I could wash face/brush teeth and sleep for at least 12 hours. Teaching (or attempting to) is so fuckin' exhausting. Yes, that phrase is totally worthy of the f-bomb. Do I go to bed, or have a snack/glass of wine and stay up til 8 or 9? Omned, I can't believe I just asked myself that question, let alone typed it.

My T.A. (Teacher's Assistant, yo!) is a Genius.

My T.A. doodled this on my desk-paper-stuff today. Now, in case you didn't know, I love South Park, no matter how tasteless or politically incorrect it is. In this one episode, Cartman keeps saying, "Aww, you're breakin' my balls, man, you're breakin' my balls!" M******* captured my sentiments exactly when he drew this (because my 5th period was being uber-annoying and frustrating, as usual) and told me, basically, that in this scenario, I am Cartman, the Teacher.

Okay, so maybe he's not a genius (he didn't spell "motto" correctly), but I'll take it.

Sub = Wandering Educator

I heard that on a show recently. Thought it was was funny. Hey, I'm not knocking Wandering Educators- I was one for a few months myself.

So now my mom is obsessed with Go Fug Yourself. In fact, when I went over to my parent's house on Sunday, she just had to show me this fugtastic Bjork outfit. If it weren't for Gillian, I would never have discovered the "beauty" that is fug (or my mom, either)! Moshizzle, as she named herself, left a great comment the other day about the fact that 80% of elementary teachers desperately need Stacy and Clinton's help: "No one can rock an ABC appliqued sweater, too short "mom jeans," holiday-themed socks, and reeboks like an elementary teacher!" Speaking of "mom jeans"..... http://www.hulu.com/watch/10333/saturday-night-live-mom-jeans

When I was in 9th grade, we had this long-term sub, I mean, Wandering Educator, named Ms. Choo for science. Now, Ms. Choo was more than a little nutty, and she had the most terrible "mom jeans" EVER- in the full rainbow of colors. Yes, tight at the waist, roomy for those wide hips, and tapered at the ankle (hitting at least 2 inches above her Keds) in bright magenta and teal and canary yellow. Yes, I remember- who could forget?? One day in computers, I made this great fake advertisement for "Choo Jeans" (and this was WAY before SNL made their fake ad!). Poor Ms. Choo. Why are junior high kids such assholes? She was replaced after a couple of weeks... by another Wandering Educator.

Where Has My Weekend Gone? (choking sob)

I went to Borders and I'm proud of myself for only purchasing one book, one cd, and one magazine. I had several more items in my hands but I put them back, reassuring myself that I could find them at the library... but NO! I want to read these really cool-looking graphic novels called "Rex Mundi" and a couple Batman ones, and the library has not a one.

So, I had a new & unnerving experience yesterday involving a psycho stranger...

If you know who I am, you know that I have a hair "issue," in that I don't have any on the top of my head. I've been dealing with this thing called trichotillomania for a long time; it's a nervous disorder. Most people would probably shave their heads and wear a wig or something, but I'm pretty secure with myself just the way I am, and I just don't really care what people think. Anyway, this woman just came up to me and was like, "Hello. What's wrong with you?" Now, I'm all for people asking me what's up, because I'll gladly tell them, but a stranger? Who does that?! It took me a second- I was thinking, what is she talking about? So I briefly told her (btw, I was about to get into my car). Then, this strange person asked if they could "pray for me" and I responded, "Well, YOU can do whatever YOU want to do, but I'm an atheist and I don't believe in that." Now, you would think that that would be enough for this strange person to leave me alone. How frank must I be? But no, she gave me this blank look and was like, "Well, could I pray for you right now?" and then meant like she was going to "lay hands on me" or something. And I said, "Um, did you not understand me? I don't do that. So, um, no. Thank you." She still didn't leave me alone. "Well, can I pray for you later?" I said, "Look. Go do whatever you want to do. Okay, bye," and started to get into my car, to which she responded, "God Bless You! Bless You!"

Some people are freaks!

P.S. Bailey got Jesus' business card from a student the other day. Leave us alone, people!

P.P.S. The "Motivational Poster" is courtesy of Angie. Oh, there were lots more... and they were all funny. This one seems the most relevant to my career.

"Hedley & Wyche, the British toothpaste. You don't have to brush your teeth every week, but you just might want to!"

I have always thought that running sucks, and today I was proven right once again! I did soccer and track and all that shiz back in junior high school and was "good" at it then... but why I even did it at all is still a mystery to me. Actually, I even got a 6:45 mile in a race but then proceeded to pee half of my pants (well, shorts, really) as I crossed the finish line. Then I hastily shoved on my warm up pants in an effort to conceal the atrocity. True story. I went home that day satisfied with the fact that I didn't finish last, but also burdened with the shame of being an adolescent shorts-wetter. It's different when you're in a race, okay? You really, well, push yourself... and you MUST remember to go BEFORE you start.

Anyway, today was our annual school fun run thing and I actually ran (much more like jogging at a walking pace) the thing, which was not that long. So how is it that the machine at the Y will say that I've run, like 4 miles on the cross trainer and I feel just fine, but when I actually run, feet pounding pavement, for only a mile and a half, it sucks so hard?

Blech. In funny clip news, I found hulu, which has tons of good funny clips (and free whole t.v. shows & movies) but makes you sit through 10 second ads every so often. Oh well. For anyone who's watched any Project Runway recently, please watch this and try to tell me that Amy Poehler didn't actually morph into Christian Siriano: http://www.hulu.com/watch/11932/saturday-night-live-new-bravo-show#p:2,s:view_count_today,i:vsl_clip_77

And another one, especially for my sister... Foo, all I'll say is, "And it taists grait on a crackah!"
http://www.hulu.com/watch/3516/saturday-night-live-hedley-and-wyche#p:35,s:view_count_today,i:vsl_clip_77

Okay, must go to bed.

I Fart In Your General Direction!

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

And some people have too much time on their hands...

Yesterday, and I don't even know how I ended up looking at this stuff, but I was watching videos (or at least the first part of them) on youtube where people had re-created entire scenes from films using legos! Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, and my favorite scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" featuring the French Taunter! Wow. This is why I was scared of the internet.... because you can find, of all of the infinite possibilites, one of your favorite Monty Python scenes reconfigured with lego dudes. Hmmm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFFeE7FbZms&feature=related

One more day left this week! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Why I Love Pink

Last semester I read Night with my 5th period class. You know, the one about surviving the Holocaust as an adolescent boy? The horrors of deportation and the terrors of Concentration Camps? It was quite a stretch, but we made it through, and the kids actually learned some stuff. So, an assignment they had when we were almost done was to chose a scene to illustrate, using descriptions from the book to draw the details and layout and stuff. You are looking at a fine example.

Now, this student chose to illustrate a horrifying scene, that of when the author and his townspeople are tightly packed in a cattle car for a week with no food and a single bucket of water. One woman goes nuts and starts seeing flames, shouting, "Jews! The Flames!" over and over. So that is what this picture is supposed to be depicting. Just take a closer look at that hair. Because you know, when you've been on a train for a week, barely able to sit down, starving and having delusions, your first priority is to gel your flat-ironed bangs to your forehead and put your remaining hair in a poofy bun.

I Heart Thin Mints

Girl Scout cookies are such a rip off at $4 a box.... except for the Thin Mints. Oh, how I love them! And I have stuff to make White Russians from a couple weeks ago, and in honor of this (basically) drinking holiday, I think I'll have one at some point tonight. Other than that, just tired! Worked all effing day on this presentation, which is super lame-o because the whole thing was only 15 minutes long. The thing went pretty well though, I guess... but what was all of that effort for? I'm at a loss.

I had a student say to me in 6th period today, "YOU better do something or else I'M going to smack him [another student]!!" I calmly replied, "Well, M********, only you are in charge of your own actions." And then she proceeded to smack the kid. Not that he didn't deserve it, mind you. But, still. Oh my.

So this one was suggested by Angie the other day, and it's really quite clever. Take a peek at Apple's latest invention, the "Irack": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw2nkoGLhrE

I'm STILL Supposed to Be Working...

My profile is correct: I am a nerd; this is my third posting of the day. I've realized that my biggest blogging conundrum is the fact that it's hard for me to resist a) posting, and b) not writing way too much. I always want to write write write when I should just shutup shutup SHUTUP!

Anyway, Gina and I worked for, like, 4 hours on this friggin' presentation. We decided to wait for our principal to come to us tomorrow and ask, "So, are you ready?" and we're going to feign ignorance, probably saying something like, "Oh, that was today? Oh yeah... well, we're not really ready. I mean, what can we say, anyway?" She's going to shiz a brick!! Of course, we ARE ready and we're going way beyond the expectations, I think. Anyway, I am still supposed to be working on it. Instead, I'm thinking about funny stuff and deciding on the Flight of the Conchords once again (big surprise). Check out my other fave, the Hiphoppopotamus and the Rhymenoceros here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk

Can you tell I love these guys? Ooh, and they're coming to Sasquatch! Me an' Foo are So There!

My own personal "band" is 2GRLZ4GOD, which I actually came up with (with Beth, of course) this summer before I had even seen FotC. More on my band later.

I'm Supposed to Be Working...

It's Sunday, my "day off"- but, you see, as a teacher, the "weekend off" doesn't really exist. If you don't want to be a shizzy teacher, you have to plan stuff, grade stuff, basically work for at least a couple of hours on Sunday. I really need to be NOT doing this right now because I have this presentation to plan for the Holier-Than-Thou Principals, but I just can't resist. Blogging is fun.

*IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*

Well, not really a disclaimer per se, but if you do NOT think that a) farts are funny, and/or b) making fun of religious fanatics is funny, well, then, you probably don't want to read this, because, a) farts, and b) making fun of religion are, like, my two favorite things to do. Now, don't get me wrong- religious people who are not totally judgy and don't try and cram their beliefs down my throat are a-okay. More power to them. But, unfortunately, in my experience, this is seldom the case. Check out Farting Preacher if you haven't seen him before (and even if you have!): http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/255/

Foux De Fa Fa

I teach French to pre-adolescents. Just thought I'd mention that.

Also worth mentioning, my current favorite funny show is Flight of the Conchords, which recently came out on DVD. Fabulously hilarious. If you don't think this show is funny, well, then... I don't think I can associate with you.

How do these two comments fit together? Check out this video: "Foux De Fa Fa" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5hrUGFhsXo&NR=1) sung by none other than New Zealand's Fourth Most Popular Folk Parody Duo. Ah, if only French people really did mention Gerard Depardieu and Camenbert in everyday conversations, ride a bicyclette around the town clad in bright primarily-colored neckties, and enjoy dancing at the local discotheque.

Okay... (deep breath)... Here goes.

Alright, so I've been wanting to jump on this whole blogging thing but have been too chicken. Why, you might ask? Well, the Internet kind-of scares me (notice how I gave it a capital letter?). It's just so.... BIG. There are too many choices for me to handle. Too much stuff. I can't even choose a paint color for the bathroom- how can I create a blog? What, of all of the infinite possibilities, do I call it? Put on it? Do with it? Oooh, typing this is giving me anxiety. Yet I will be just fine. I've created it. It's DONE!

So, I decided that I would mostly want to talk about stuff that I think is funny, hence the name: HiliariShizzle. Don't sue me if every single thing isn't completely and totally hilarious, but hopefully it will be at least amusing. Even though Snoop Dog (or whoever) coined "fo' shizzle" several years ago and it's really not cool anymore, I still think it's funny. One time I almost got a doormat that said, "Fo' Shizzle, Welcome to My Hizzle."

Did I mention that I'm a teacher? Working in a Middle School? Funny shiz happens in school all the freakin' time, and I'll put it all right here.